First and foremost, best wishes to all for 2009!
I'm due in 7 months. In perspective that isn't a very long time to go. So much to do in preparation. No energy to do it with. Still signing up for study in my laboratory course which I can do still when the baby is born. Have to move into a new place, buy furniture, buy a fridge and a washing machine, maternity clothes, baby clothes, nappies, bottles, kilos of washing powder, a pram, a cot/bassinette and surely more things I haven't thought of yet. All on a happy single mum pension.
Owen will support as much as he can but I really do feel like I am on my own with this one. I mean. My family aren't too excited as I thought they would be, they said they will help where they can but that gesture has done bugger all to mask their disappointment. Friends? What friends? Apart from friends on the internet? Real life? Nobody really except for my housemates and Grumpy's family.
A young single mum how does that work? How on earth did that happen? Here I go from severe depression, to sheer happiness and clarity, to a job I've to do every day for the rest of my life. Sure I'm happy about that and happy to do it. But is it really the best for my kid? They deserve better. All I have is my love but judging by today's society love is a skint way to bring up your kid.
And no longer will I be afraid for me, I will be afraid for my child. How do you mothers deal with that fear?
(Please share your tips for dealing with All Day-All Night Sickness too...it's becoming unbearable!)
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3 comments:
1. You do not need nearly as much as you've cited for a baby. And some things can wait until the babe is bigger. Fridge/washing machine are very important. Pram can wait. You can get by on very little maternity clothing. Buy as you grow. Same for the baby. You may not need bottles. The little one might want to breast feed whether you do or not. I suggest every woman give it a whirl.
2. I never announced a pregnancy to excited parents. My mom was so startled the first time she sort of reached out and smacked my face. Seriously. It was with a limp hand and very southern but I got the point. Anyway, the third time (which was unplanned), I made my husband announce it. Husband announced and they still didn't approve. They are now very involved with all of my kids, though and have loved them from the moment they made their way into the world.
3. You only need a couple of people for help. Someone in your family will come through and you'll make a real flesh and blood friend by then if you don't have one. And don't forget about Owen. He'll have to do some babying, too.
4. Love IS all a child needs. Your love for that child will fuel all of your endeavors to provide the things the little one needs. In that respect, love is the ONLY thing your baby needs.
5. Mothering comes from a primal animalistic part of you. You will be amazed.
Morning sickness tips: Don't get pregnant! Uh, sorry...couldn't resist.
I wasn't sick with #1 or #3 but #2 almost killed me. If you could just lie around and feel miserable, it's not so bad but work and school and stuff make it terrible. Some Dr's will prescribe medication but not if it isn't what they consider to be serious. Sprite, dry crackers before rising from bed...very small meals...rest....that's about all I can offer.
Kim
1. I plan to breast feed but I worry that for some reason I can't (my mother couldn't). Its not so bad now with everything else. Owen and I have decided to move in together and that involves me moving to melbourne.
2. I suppose everyone would be more supportive once the baby is born but its not quite so nice seeing right now I need love and support from them as well as someone actually sharing the excitement with me.
4. I agree but my baby also needs her mum to be able to eat. My work has cut my shifts now down to four hours a week, doesn't pay for rent and food.
Morning Sickness: Getting better. I drink lots of Sprite/Lemonade if its availiable.
Ah, I have no advice I can offer, not being a dad or anyone worth listening to on very much other than poetry and politics, but as cheesy as it sounds I am sure you'll be a fantastic mother...I mean, you're smarter than you think, you're extremely practical (which I think MUST be a necessary part of it--overcoming problems I mean), and exceptionally caring...The depression might even be helped by it, who knows? But I'm acutely conscious of the fact that I don't know what I'm talking about.
All I do know is that I've got faith in you. And I know a little bit about what's going on in your MIND and HEART, which some of the people who know you in real unreality have never been privy to...
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